" Not a single breath can ever part me from you, your arms; your love. "
He who is not, meant to be close to others.
— The evening is still warm, the scents of blooming spring still present and making the occasion a bit more joyous. Or so he believes at least. In addition, to weather and circumstances entirely to his tastes, he does not spend his time alone. Making it better than it already is. There are, however, many moments where he ponders over the relationship they share. Nathan and he. Perhaps it is strange, he doesn’t know. Simply because there isn’t a single soul he is capable of asking, and certainly not the younger vampire himself. If anything, that would be strange. But he still wonders, as he ventures outside, forearms resting safely upon the railing of the balcony, music strumming in the background along with laughter and whispers of forbidden words. He hears it all so very clearly, and it does have him amused. For a few seconds at least, before his thoughts circulate back to more attention-seeking matters.
Eyes drifting, over Vienna’s beautiful scenery, they’re open but blinded at the same time. As Asce plunges into the pitch black abyss of his own thoughts. Ponders, argues with key points here and there — trying to reach a point of understanding without much luck. It causes him to frown, for a few seconds. There is nothing he loathes more than his own inability to understand certain things, the fire in his chest and the ice in his stomach. Whatever it is it signifies, he doesn’t know. But he knows when he feels it, how he feels it and how it colors the greys of the world with golden. He knows, that’s what Nathan does to him, every single time he’s near. And it really does have him confounded. Simply since he is unsure of what to believe.
He seeks comfort in his cigarettes, just like he shouldn’t. But he can’t really help himself either. He has been fond of tobacco for longer than he can properly recall, or so he says. And he can practically always be found with a smoke between his fingers or lips. It keeps his mind clearer he urges every time Nathan asks him why or tells him he smokes too much. A meager defense perhaps, not that anyone seems to mind and certainly not the crusnik himself. Nicotine won’t kill him, neither will any other substance that this “poison”, as people call it, contains. And of course now is no different. Smoke twirling through open air, surrounding him like a small cloud. It adds spice to his natural scent of cinnamon-mixed vanilla. Brief, but it’s still there.
A hand laid upon his shoulder has him flinching, warmth radiating down across his back and he’s dragged back to reality in less than a second. Eyelids fluttering,as to erase traces of golden tugging at green. An indication of his raging mind. So he spends a few more seconds turned the wrong way, facing the grass a few feet below rather than the man he knows is standing behind him. Not that he’s given very long, before Nathan is standing next to him instead, hues of vibrant blue gazing upon the same scenery Asce had gazed upon so mindlessly only seconds ago. Asce allows his own eyelids to remain slanted, quiet, as he takes another drag of his cigarette, blowing smoke in the opposite direction of the younger male. To spare him from the worst of the infectious smell.
“Why are you hiding out here?”
Asce finally turns his head to eye the other for a moment, features the same as always, on the verge of expressionless. But that fickle flame burns bright in green eyes. Entirely impossible to suffocate, and in the end it has him grinning. “I needed to get away from all the noise for a moment or so. That’s all. I can’t even hear myself think in there.” He explains with a slight shrug of his shoulders, dropping his finished cigarette to the ground below the two of them.
“As far as I am aware, you enjoy these occasions more than I do, yet the noise is bothering you?”
Asce lets out a chuckle, lowering his gaze for a moment. “Supposedly I have a lot on my mind lately. But let’s not dwell on that, we should enjoy the evening. Festivities of this kind are growing rarer by the year.” He says as stepping back from the railing, offering the vampire his hand. If he’d ask himself why, he wouldn’t be able to answer. Why does Nathan’s hand feel so good in his own? Even if only for those brief seconds? Asce twists his lips, shaking his head as he moves back towards open doors and the mingling crowd, letting go of the other male’s hand the moment they step over the threshold. Tolerance for such things is low nowadays, and they both know no risks are to be taken. Lest they wish to lose the social status they’ve acquired. Alas, Asce does want to hold on. Though feeling compelled to play by the rules, and break them later. When less people are there to watch.
Even so he sticks to the younger male’s side. It is a well known fact already, that they stick together. Most considering it to be some sort of brotherly connection, whereas Asce suspects something else to be growing, at least inside of himself. Causing a great deal of anxieties, tugging at his already lacking sanity. Something unmentionable to him, as it is right now. not because he considers it to be wrong nor foul, rather because he’s frightened. He barely knows how to define such a concept. Telling someone else that you’re feeling it might make it even worse. Because, what if he’s wrong? What if it’s not accepted? People speak so greatly of love, that they knew when someone was right just by looking at them. Asce has no idea, what that is supposed to feel like. Not in the slightest. But he wishes he could explore it. Causing yet another batch of obstacles, and therefore his courage falters.
Though there’s still hinted fondness in green eyes when he watches the younger, listens to his voice. Statements that are so beautifully clever and nuanced. If anything, he knows for sure that he’s in love with the way nathan talks. Asce wishes he could carry himself socially just as well as Nathan does, but he’s struggling. Most of the time it’s not very obvious, of course. Asce also knows, that he finds Nathan to be most beautiful when he speaks of oceans and deep blue seas. Because there’s so much light in his eyes when he does. Fingers comb through dark locks and yet again he feels a tad overwhelmed by the way his mind seems to be working on overdrive. It is, every unusual for him to dwell on thoughts like this. It makes him want to leave, so he does. He slinks through the crowd with ease, disappears between dancing couples and drunken patriots. Or well he tries to. Fingers clasp around his upper arm a little too quickly, hands in his pockets and fingers curling out of sight.
“I’m weary.” He states calmly, trying to ignore the concern flashing in pretty eyes. “And I do believe things are beginning to round up either way. Stay if you wish, but I’ll be heading back now.”
“I’ll leave with you then.”
They lose themselves to each other that night. Like many times before. They mend cracks and crevices of each other’s minds, temporarily, by sweet touches and paced breaths. Words and soft chuckles, things Asce treasures a bit more than he realizes. How surprisingly easy it is to fall asleep next to one another is another thing, he hasn’t counted into the things he is grateful for. He should have, would have if the future had been nearer his ability of grasping.
Morning comes all too quickly, brings an unfamiliar chill to his bones when he awakens. Fingertips search for purchase — for warmth that’s nowhere to be found. “Nathan?” He calls, rubbing remnants of sleep out of his eyes as he sits up amongst white sheets. His brows furrow, when there’s no response. Unusual, but perhaps he went out for a morning stroll? Not too unlikely, but something about this still bothers Asce enough to actually make him worry. Leading to him getting up rather quickly, dressing in the simplest set of clothes he has, before stepping out of the room they have shared for quite some time now. Finger drag though musses locks of raven, eyelashes tickling his cheeks for a second or so as he yawns. Still not fully awake, but head clear enough for him to at least think. To register the envelope resting upon their dining table. Curiosity is a natural sense within, and it easily controls him. So of course he moves, handwriting recognized immediately. How could it not be?
He does not expect to read those words, that come to face him like a brick wall. Solid and harsh, blocking all light in its way. Color drained from the only world that he knows, has known for years and years on end. Darkness before light came almost forgotten, but starting to seep into the corners of his soul again so very easily. At first, there’s anger. Anger because he doesn’t understand, frustration due to the lack of explanation. Then there’s quiet processing. At the end, there’s grief. As the blame lets the remaining cards fall on display. He’s not an emotional one, never has been. And it surprises him too, the way he’s blinded by reds. The way it feels, when the thick liquid trails down pale cheeks. It’s a first. It stains white, stains his fingers and the table-top as he leans forward to rest his elbows upon it; paper crumpled between his fingers.
He wants it to be a lie, a nightmare. Anything but reality. Because it seems to be another thing he won’t be able to grasp. Nathan has taught him many things over the years, more than he gives him credit for even, but this? This has never been included. Dealing with loss, has never been part of his life. Not since his sire passed, and he lost his younger brother to anger. It did not end well, and he abhors those memories. It can’t happen a second time, it won’t either.
Because in contrast to all those years back, all he feels at that moment is an immense heaviness of heart and limbs. As if his entire body has lost its energy. No breaths drawn, lips unparted and sanguine continuing to trail down his marble-like complexion. He stays like that for hours, not a sound, not a single complaint uttered aloud. Nothing, as he allows himself to be drawn into darkness, letting all shared memories envelope him like a dark veil. It’s an idiotic decision, but it’s not one he makes himself either, not entirely. From the day they first met, to this moment, he wants to erase it all. To flee, like he does best. Hide, forget and become the emotionless wreck he has always been.
Shall remain lonely, for better or for worse.
To me, there has never been such a thing as infinite emotion; never ending pulsating warmth. Not until you, and the way your fingertips manage to dance so flawlessly over my bare skin. Through many years, there has been longing, and through many more, will there be. But not in the same painful way, I hope.
One year has passed by now, a year filled with so much bliss, that counting my smiles has become impossible. But I still count yours, every day, every single time. Because to me, there is nothing more precious than the way I can make your lips curl in the most beautiful of ways. The way your eyes glint when your happiness becomes mine too. And nothing makes me feel more alive, than when I can hold your hand in mine and feel the warmth you radiate.
Though I still wish I would have known sooner, to have been able to end something that made us both suffer, I am more than happy to find myself here, together with you. Days fly by, but I find comfort in knowing that we do indeed have forever. And that will never change. Because even if the sun would fail rise one morning, my love would still be yours, together with everything that I have come to be. Because in truth, my love, none of who I am would have been forged if it hadn’t been for you. Because before you, I was nothing but an empty, emotionless shell. But you know that already, don’t you? And by now, you haven’t only save me once, but twice. Maybe even thrice. And to say that I owe you everything would still be an understatement.
But of course, where I want to bring this is to the mere, simple statement of that yes, I do love you. More than anything there is to love and more than anyone I’ll ever come to foster emotion for. ( The sole imaginable exception would be that of a child, born to the both of us. )
So my love, my future husband and mate, the one I want to spend the rest of eternity together with, I love you.
Like the sun loves the moon and illuminates its presence, I hope to be your light when you find darkness, and your solid harbour when your mind is clouded by upcoming hurricanes. When the waves of your ocean threaten to swallow you whole.
May the upcoming years be coloured by our growing affection, and may bliss be the only thing you’ll feel.
Forever and always,
Only yours,
Asce Chaussée
Sunshine tugged softly on Nathan’s eyelids, or so he had supposed for a second. It had in fact been the faint light from one of their lamps, the one placed on Asce’s side of the bed to be exact, that was lit in the early morning hour. It was still dark outside Nathan noted when his lids parted, though that was only because he had observed how the light hit the features of his beloved who had still been lying down, facing the younger of the two with his eyes open. It was always the best way of starting the day, to be met by the sight of the man one were to spend the rest of his days with. To let oneself quietly admire how the raven locks fell and meet the loving gaze in his fiancés orbs. Mustering some strength in his arm, Nathan let his hand help moving some loose strands from Asce’s face and place them with the others, still without saying anything. It was a quiet way of beginning his day and one that he genuinely enjoyed. Shuffling closer underneath the sheets, he let the same arm from before place itself in the curve between hipbone and ribcage as chests were separated only by the tiniest distance. Still letting a tiny but nevertheless content smile play on his lips, he let his own pair place themselves on the older male’s, as nothing more than an innocent good morning kiss of course.
Holding the position for a few seconds, relishing in the feeling of Asce’s skin against his own as he did so, when finally parting his eyes held a special sort of admiration in them. The tips of their noses still faintly brushing against each other and Nathan felt like the luckiest man on earth. Not being able to hold himself back anymore, the very first words of the day fell from a smiling pair of lips. “Je t’aime, Asce Chaussée.” A soft chuckle followed and so did another peck. Because what Nathan hadn’t mentioned before, even though it being a reoccurring situation, was that as many days as he could, he wanted to begin with a set of words describing just what he felt in that moment. It might be a simple ‘good morning’ some mornings, or maybe just a content sigh of his fiancés name, or something as cheesy as today, but they were all genuine ways of expression. Nathan had figured that they spent so much time during the days being close but never together, that he really wanted to begin his days as lovingly as he possibly could. And so he did.
With this particular day being Christmas Eve, and even though he was aware that they would spend some time in the house of God during the day, instead of the halls of the undying where they both found work, he wanted it to be as special as possible. The tree was to be decorated as well, because so far it was still completely empty with the box of newly bought decorations in a large box standing next to it, even though the tree had already been on stand-by in their living room for a couple of days. Nathan had to make food as well, the pudding could wait until Christmas day, but the turkey and the rest of the dishes were to be prepared. (Thankfully, the only part of pastry making he had mastered was a corner of the British tradition, his knowledge about pudding-making stretching back to being taught by one of his father’s English maids. Even though that had been during the early 19th century, the calm instructing voice still echoed inside of his head every time when he was making it.)
Reminding himself to ask for help with the apple pie later, the smile he had worn on his features broadened slightly as he let a finger run over a patch of chilled skin. Asce’s back it felt like, and the tips of that hand’s fingers circulated around an unevenness, most probably a scar, even though he was too busy getting lost in the colourful orbs of his lover to properly notice.
— That little tug upon his heartstrings never fails, whenever he opens his eyes before his lover does. When he finds himself, and his mind, to be lonely within still enveloping spreads of darkness. Here and there, prominent traces of fear still keeps his mind chained for a few seconds, that never ending fright that he, once more, will wake up to an empty bedside and a note with scribbled words. How unlikely it may seem, that such an occurrence would ever come to separate them again. But even so, the way he turns around is slow, the way he lays his eyes upon the sleeping male beside him calm, as if unmoved. Because that is, and has always been, the way Leon wears his expressions. Calmness hides turmoil, and unemotional reactions are completely natural. But even if he has spent over an entire millennia without the slightest trace of proper emotional response ( more so during the last two hundred ) Nathan is re-awakening every single thing he has forgotten. The numbness of longing, the need of silent affection. All those things, that he still finds it hard to understand. Things he finds himself adoring, because there’s nobody who can provide him with this ; to make him feel as if his life isn’t meaningless — as if he’s still allowed to live. Nobody, aside from the male he has decided to spend the rest of his day with. The rest, of Eternity.
Hues of dark celadon linger by shadowed features, staying completely silent in the darkness of their room. And even though he doesn’t particularly need it, he reaches back to turn on the light decorating his bedside table. It makes him squint for a moment, thinking it too bright and considering to turn it off for a split second. Although, he does let it be. Because the way the beaming artificial light reflects upon the younger of the two, how its rays lay a gentle glow to his appearance, it is indeed enticing. Leon falls back against his pillow after that, motion slow. As much as he wants to reach out and drag nimble fingertips along the curve of a smooth shoulder, or along the other’s jawline, he keeps his fingers to himself. Because he does not want to disturb peaceful slumber. Not when Nathan looks as if he’s experiencing the sweetest of dreams. Leon would know, because it is more than often that he sneakily decides to create something pretty for the younger in his sleep. As a dreamwalker, everything he does in his sleep can possibly affect others, and doing it harmlessly, seems like nothing wrong. Even if it renders his sleep light and improper. But as a cannibalistic vampire, sleep is not exactly needed either. It’s merely an easy way to shut off his mind for a while or so. But he never shares this information with the younger, never tells him that he’s always giving a little piece of himself, to make sure the one he loves is at peace when sleep makes his exterior vulnerable.
It does not take all too long however, for those eyes he adores so much to part, to open and gaze right back at him. It fills him with warm fondness; colors his gaze with admiration as he beholds what he treasures the most. To be touched, in a manner that left his skin feeling as if it had been ignited. He shuts his eyes for a moment when Nathan shuffles closer, breathing slowly once more, as reminding himself that yes, it is the proper thing to do. He keeps forgetting — breathing and blinking still isn’t natural to him. After all these years. It almost makes him chuckle for a moment, the small curve of a smile twitching at his lips when Nathan’s am lands between hip and ribcage, and he can finally allow himself to reach his own fingertips out. He lets them brush gently along the male’s side, down along his ribs in a peaceful caress before splaying them across his back.
Hues are barely opened when lips land upon his own and he relishes the way it spreads warmth through still veins. Relishes the way, he wakes up to nothing more than love and affection for another day. It is all he can ask for these days, and all he will ever ask for too. The moment feels to brief, as soon as lips depart from his own, but even so his hues have still taken on that gleaming shade of turquoise that signifies the strongest bouts of sheer bliss within his usually troubled mind. Then words are spoken and he releases a content sigh as shifting closer, nuzzling against the younger male’s neck, to inhale his scent properly, if only for a moment, delivering the tiniest of kisses to his bare skin before he pulls back to his original position. “Je t'adore.” He then mumbles in response, French instinctual in his response. And it takes him a moment to even realise that it is what he has used. Those words are the strongest for of affectionate declaration that he knows — that he has the capability to understand, and it is rare for him to say them. Even like this, when there’s only them, together and nothing else.
Today will be a busy day, he knows very well. But at least he knows he’ll enjoy it to its full extent. But as every other year, the days surrounding Christmas are all built upon traditions for him, and he will not come to change them this year either, rather establish them even further by including Nathan, If he’d want to, that is. The thought of forcing him to come with him for today’s service seemed more than unattractive to him. Swiftly he raises his hand to let it rest upon the male’s cheek, caressing his skin gently with his thumb as his eyelids slant a bit. “ I could, definitely stay like this for a while. ” He mumbles, as a few more seconds have passed and he looks back at the other properly once more, offering up one of his gentlest smiles. “ I have a feeling you could too. ”
Rays of the morning sun tickled the lids of the still slumbering vampire, and his dreamless sleep was interrupted as he instinctively shielded his eyes from the bright light. He frowned, being embraced by sleep as well as his beloved’s arms was nothing the male enjoyed being parted from, especially not like this. Even though his eyes remained closed, a thin par of lids didn’t do much about the light blinding him, well, except for colouring his field of vision a shining mixture of patches with pink, red and white. But thankfully, a raised hand did help hiding from the morning sun, and even more effective it was when he rolled over in the large bed, turning his back towards the sun. Without having to risk his eyeballs burning out of his skull, Nathan did peer his eyes open just a tiny bit, his lids still heavy from the good hours of sleep. It had been a tiring night for the both of them, but crying always managed to suck the very life out of the younger. Luckily, he had had his absolute favourite comforter’s arms embracing him whilst crying, making it possible to have a hushed but thoroughly sweet conversation before the younger’s mind had been taken away by the sandman. Just thinking about it replaced the previous frown with a sheepish grin.
Rolling over and expecting to be met by those arms and the man whose presence was deeply missed the moment Nathan woke, he met nothing but empty sheets. The lingering weight of sleep upon his lids vanished in an instant and he opened his eyes, only to find an empty bed. He sat up in a motion so sudden that the blanket that had covered him now fell down, baring his naked chest. “Asce..?” The words were hesitating and had a certain clang of worry in them. Where could he possibly have gone? Not to say, the frown was back and several deep crinkles covered his forehead, Nathan really didn’t like waking up like this. Not after a night like yesterday’s. A shallow breath was taken, the first since shielding his eyes from the bright morning light pouring from the window, and it brought unexpected flavours that stuck to the vampire’s taste buds. A deeper breath followed and expanded his lungs, naturally the smell also became stronger. The worry that had filled him moments ago faded, for no other than his very boyfriend would be able to create these kinds of aromas. A sweet and the tiniest bit sleepy smile danced upon his lips as he gathered the blanket around him, holding it in his arms as he wrapped it around his naked body. It was still too cold to walk around completely naked. Towering above the floor with his full 181 centimetres, he caught sight of a note resting on one of the bedside tables just as he was about to leave the chambers. Taking a few steps closer to it, he bent forward and words were read in the soothing voice of Asce himself, and Nathan couldn’t help but let a soft chuckle when noting the name he had signed with. Leon. Odd, but if the note spoke the truth, which Nathan truly believed it did, there was only one explanation he could spontaneously come up with. And that was, no matter how self-praising it made him sound, that is simply wasn’t healthy for the crusnik to observe Nathan as he was sleeping, because seemingly it made him forget his own name. Or at least the only name of his that Nathan did acknowledge.
Snickering at the thought, he strolled out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen, blanket still shielding his naked skin from the outside world. Because who in the world actually had energy to dress properly this early in the morning, especially if one weren’t going anywhere? A voice in the back of his head whispered ‘Asce’, but it was a voice the young vampire decided to ignore. Thank God his boyfriend really wasn’t a mind reader. Reaching the designated area in their shared apartment, he stopped and leaned on the door frame leading into the kitchen. Pulling the blanket a little tighter around himself as he hoped his hair wasn’t too messy, a smile made its way to his lips once again, adoration for his mate filling every single cell in his entire body. “Good morning, love.”
With his hair tied back beautifully, had he begun his morning ministrations; his well-deserved surprise for the male he loved. It was a simple one, something he could make almost effortlessly but even so, he put all his focus into it, because nothing aside form perfection would be appropriate. He wouldn’t have much time, most likely at least, since he knew by now, that the other couldn’t rest properly without him, thus he’d be up and walking only moments after waking up. My Nathan, you are a peculiar creature. But I love you either way. More than ever. He thought to himself, grinning crookedly as he continuously kneaded the dough he finished minuted ago, before he set it aside to raise. He was always multitasking, moving on to the second dough, adding ingredients one after the other with ease. This was the best he could do, when knowing his lover didn’t enjoy sugary treats as much as he did, he could at least surprise him with freshly baked bread, although neither of them really had to eat. Still, enjoying the flavor of something was never wrong. Not to either of them. Culinary and pastry, their different elements; specialities. Leon carried enough respect in his senses to know he wasn’t supposed to try and make Nathan taste what he loved most, when it obviously wasn’t much to his delight most of the time. Oh well.
He chuckled to himself, sitting down by the kitchen table, elbows resting against solid wood, his bare torso using it as leverage as he slumped forward a bit, chin resting in his hands. The echo of silence was somewhat unpleasant now when he didn’t live alone anymore, the occasional chirping of birds outside the window not enough to fill his apartment with the usual vividness it held. It was almost depressing in a way and he longed for the younger’s presence, even if he was just asleep in the other room. But it felt as if the conversation held merely hours ago had brought them even closer to one another, and it was just another proof of how desperately he needed the male to keep himself together; how much of Leon’s sanity he held in his hands. There were so many things they shared with one another, so many words Leon had yet to say, so many things spinning in his mind that he knew he’d never be able to express his love enough, even though they had eternity before them. He was consumed by warmth and affection, sprouting in his chest like the most beautiful of white lilies, pure and innocent in all its splendid glory and he treasured it more than anything else. Because never ever had anyone made him feel this way; so alive he sometimes believed his heart was still beating. It always fluttered so beautifully whenever Nathan smiled, his laugh the most beautiful sound Leon knew and with these thoughts in mind, he waited, waited and waited.
Almost forty-five minutes had passed before he heard footsteps, bread in the oven since fifteen minutes prior and he rose from his seat, wandered over the kitchen flooring to prepare some coffee for the younger and of course some tea for himself. He still didn’t fancy the black bitter beverage. Oh no. he hummed to himself, did every little thing in peace before the melodic sound of his lover’s voice echoed in his ears and he stopped, turning around to face him with a smile. A flash of surprise spread through celadon orbs, smile replaced by a smirk as he tipped his head to the side. “ Morning honey. ” He spoke softly, voice as sweet as honey, soon approaching the male with slow steps, trailing a finger up along his neck, along his jawline, before leaning in to steal a kiss from addictive lips, and not a brief one. He was more than aware, that Nathan was most likely naked beneath the sheet covering his body. Painfully aware. But he pushed it aside, for the moment. “ Slept well?"
[SCAN] Vixx 'Hello Stranger' Global Photobook - Leo (3036 x 2000)
The tightening embrace he received as the words had rolled off of his tongue was calming, and only the action itself filled him with anticipation. Luckily such confessions weren’t as hard as the first one, for that had taken him 63 years to say. 63 wasted years from the point of view of his current self, though he still knew things would have been different between them if it weren’t for them. The fact that those years spent in solitude had changed him couldn’t be overseen, maybe to the better, maybe to the worse - deciding that was up to the man embracing him. His everything. As lips brushed over the skin of his forehead, jolts of warmth shot through his veins, though they quickly turned cold as ice when what he thought was the answer fell from those lips he adored. Internally scolding himself for being so naïve for a few seconds, only the lovely smile lightening the elder’s features brought his inner voices to a stop. Confusion replaced the former emotions swirling around inside of him, for why did Asce seem like happiness personified when he had uttered such words? Words that would break the younger’s - in that moment - fragile heart if they weren’t followed by an explanation.
The voices silenced completely when their lips met, and his lids fluttered shut for the short moment they were connected. The gentleness suddenly reminding him about the very first kiss they had shared, back in England when he still had issues with physical contact. The sudden reminder of those precious moments when he had placed all of his trust in the crusnik’s promises, brought forth new warm feelings for the man embracing him. Thinking back about it, he had been spoiled of being able to trust someone’s words to the extent as he could with Asce. Every syllable leaving that mouth of his was trustworthy, and so he had treated them. Words that echoed in the darkness after their lips had parted almost brought fresh tears to his eyes, they were what he had hoped to hear. And hearing them as well as the wonderful chiming of the elder’s chuckle washed away his sleepiness for several seconds. The sound brought another smile to the younger’s lips, and he moved his hand from the waist of his lover to return the brushing of a thumb over the soft skin of the cheek. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had held back, dimples evident as well as small crinkles of happiness around the outer corners of his eyes.
“My beloved Asce.., you’re not a mind-reader and I appreciate you for not being one. Your inabilities as you call them do not bother me the least, putting my feelings into words is actually a big help for me to understand them better, and that I can do with you. You are perfect for me, your imperfections only support that thought.” He let his thumb brush over the chilled skin, now a bit warmer thanks to their close contact. “I love you, and that includes every single part of you.” A yawn interrupted him, an especially large one and he once again felt how heavy his lids were. Snuggling closer for a nth time, he let them flutter shut and more words left him, though as mumbles instead of the somewhat clear voice from before. “And I would love you even more if I got to sleep for another hour or so.., preferably in your arms or else I can’t sleep…” It got quiet for a minute or so, and then the mumbling resumed, though the volume was even lower than the previous ones. “That is actually very rude of you, making me this dependant on you that I can’t rest properly unless your skin is against mine. And the worst part is that I love you so I can’t even be upset over that fact.” A sigh left him, breath hot against the older vampire’s skin and he got quiet. Sleep had taken him and wasn’t planning on releasing him from its hold for a while.
It was always mesmerizingly beautiful to watch the male he loved like this, so close, so clearly. Nothing could possibly compare to the euphoria running through his veins at that moment, when he found perfection in his own chamber. When he knew life couldn’t possibly get better. This was all he wanted, and when he realized what reaction his little prank had pulled from the younger male, his smile inevitably grew wider, grew to disclose his pearly whites as he scooted a little bit closer, to kiss away the traces of fresh tears from the corners of blue eyes. He was gentle, because to him Nathan was the greatest of treasures, the most fragile of porcelain dolls. He was his everything and he couldn’t possibly let anything happen to him. Nothing. They were his own protective instincts and of course he abided by them because they were justified. After so many years apart from each other, so many years of seeing the light of his own hopes die, fall into the oblivion’s deepest abyss. So many words had died on his tongue that morning, when sunlight had woken him up to an empty bed and a single note. It was his greatest fear, to relive something even close to it, made his skin crawl at the mere thought, but he knew. He knew Nathan wouldn’t leave him again because they were each other’s, and that was all that mattered. Would be all that mattered for the rest of eternity if Leon could decide.
So, when the love of his lifetime spoke, when his soft voice rang in sensitive ears, when those words etched themselves into his mind, he couldn’t help but to laugh. There was affection in his hues, tucked into the curve of his lips, safely stored in the roots of his heart and nothing could ever erase the love for the male beside him, for it filled his entire being to the brim. There was nobody else besides Nathan in this world, that could possibly make him feel as alive as he felt in just that moment. “ I love you too, every little quirk of your personality is to my pleasure, flaws is what creates perfection and to me, there’s no one who is more perfect than you, not a single person in this world can ever compare to you, your smile and the way you let me love you, just as you love me. ” He mumbled by the male’s ear, a kiss pressed to his temple as he tugged him closer to himself, noticing the signs of weariness, how it pulled the younger into its embrace. Leon would let it take him this time around, seeing he needed it with ease. Sleepy mumbles made him chuckle, smile fueled further as he ran his fingertips through soft strands of hair, brushed them away from closed eyes. “ I want to be crucial to every part of your life, because you are to mine. I want to be your home and your safety. ” He then whispered, when he knew the other had fallen asleep in his tight embrace.
As beautiful as ever, was he, when he rested so effortlessly within strong arms and Leon couldn’t help the way his eyes stuck to him like glue, when he could barely bring himself to blink even once. He didn’t want to miss a single exhale. Thus he remained sleepless until sunlight snuck in between the parting of curtains, painting the walls with bright, golden streaks, reflecting in his hues and the younger’s silken strands. He smiled again, like he had so many times before, because he had done something right that night, providing comfort in the most innocent manner. And he understood, for the first time, he could actually say he understood the meaning of codependency. The meaning of loving someone wholeheartedly. Though he did not intend to dwell beneath the sheets like this, knowing there would be no rest on his part either way, now when the sun was up. But he did know what he would do. Sitting on the bedside for a moment, he composed a note a sweet one, which he left on the bedside table before he kissed the younger male’s forehead, calm and composed as he left the room, even though his every thought was filled with sweet, sparkling ideas.
Nathan,
You needn’t worry when you wake up alone like this, for I haven’t left you alone. Not for a single moment. I have watched you sleep, watched as the sun rose to color your hair with golden shimmers and I have enjoyed every second of it. Seeing you at peace is everything could ever wish for after all. If you haven’t figured out already,(meaning the scents gave me away ) you can find me in the kitchen. I have a surprise for you.
All my love,
Leon
{ ; tilts his head to the side, blinking a few times. } Ah, I see. Well, we will see then won’t we?
See? Now you are coming up with reasons, so there is an underlying reason. { ; chuckles briefly. } Fascinating or strange as I might be, I will never understand your taken interest in me. Sadly.
You’ve been keeping an eye on me? { ; quirks a brow, resting his chin in his hand for a moment before he flashes an almost impish grin. } Well, can’t say that’s not oddly interesting. As for me being strange, I can’t really deny that fact either. I’m not normal so it has to make me strange, no?
Well then, consider yourself odd in my opinion. Because I cannot see a single reason as to why I would fascinate you. { ; shrugs lazily, flicking a few strands of black hair off of his shoulder.}